Fighting Our Evolutionary Minds and Allowing Ourselves to Feel

I recently had a friend who is going through a tough tough time of unimaginable pain, share with  me that what she was most frustrated about was that she did not know how she was supposed to feel, or what she was supposed to do. I talked to her about the importance of allowing herself the space to feel, without judgment. 

One of the biggest issues that we have is that we feel bad about feeling bad. Or we feel ashamed of feeling ashamed. Or we feel like a failure for having feelings. Or we feel stupid for not being over something.

It is like our minds are in survival mode. The mind’s reaction is to see a problem and try to solve it. It is instinctual to see your feelings as a something that you need to fix or that you have to get over.

The issue is that what your mind logically wants is different than what your mind emotionally needs. Because while your mind is trying to get over your emotions, you actually need to deal with and process those feelings. to allow yourself the space to confront and process and ultimately learn; learn how to avoid certain situations, or learn how to process these feelings if they come up in the future. 

I encourage you to fight that instinct that causes you to judge your feelings. Your feelings and your reactions are valid. If it takes a week, a month, a year, 10 years to get through something, then so be it. Rushing through emotions does not solve anything and only delays the time when eventually you will crack. That is why there are times when something small will cause us to have "overreactions." It's usually tied to a point in time when we avoided dealing with our feelings and so those feelings came out in unexpected or dangerous ways.

Tell your mind to cut it out when it tells you that your emotions are a problem to be solved. Reprogram yourself to be patient with your emotions and dealing with them.

"Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
    and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city."

Proverbs 16:32